Pump up the (Mango Jalapeño) Jam!

(Skip to recipe)

So this is how my brain works:

Step 1: Mutual on Twitter makes a list of things they have checked off their to do list.

Step 2: I decide to make my own list because I’ve been feeling like I’m not getting anything accomplished at all and maybe writing them down will help me realize that I have gotten things done and life is actually ok.

Step 3: Realize that I haven’t done one of the big things that needed to get done and so tidy up the bathroom counter and then haul my laundry downstairs, put it in the washer, start it. (Sidenote: OH CRAP I FORGOT TO SWITCH THE LAUNDRY! BRB!)

Step 4: Realize that it’s raining, how nice, I’m going to stand outside and enjoy it and my garden for a minute. Ahhh… lovely. Oh look, an under-ripe blackberry! YUM! I should go eat… I should go eat FRUIT!

Step 5: Open fridge, see rotting spinach. Ugh. Let me just clean out the old vegetables real quick, seeing as how I just ordered a bunch of salsa ingredients, including 10 jalapeños. Toss that, toss that… Oh, damnit. I already have 10 jalapeños!! ARGH! Maybe I can make salsa. Damnit, nope. Let’s clean out the fruit drawer now! Oh, oh no… this has all gone bad. Except these two mangoes I bought like a month ago and never used. They still look good.

Step 6: MANGO JALAPENO JAM! YOU’RE A GENIUS, JEN!

BEHOLD WE HAVE STUFF IN A POT!

Now, as in all recipes that spring from my brain, making a new recipe starts with someone else’s perfectly good recipe that I don’t actually have quite the right ingredients or ratios for and so I just use it as a general guide and hope for the best. This works surprisingly well! It went so well that I literally licked the pot that I made it in. Just sayin’. That said, it’s less a jam or more of a mush of things together. It’s a smashed jam. And no, I don’t know the difference between jams, jellies, and preserves, so don’t ask.

Original, major inspiration recipe can be found here: Jalapeño Mango Jam. Other inspiration recipe is here: Badass Mango Jalapeño Jam.

NOTE!!! MAJOR NOTE IN ALL CAPS EXCEPT THAT’S JUST RIDICULOUS:  My version of this “jam” is a refrigerator jam, not a processed jam, and therefore I have no idea how long it will actually last in the fridge, but it has to go in the fridge or freezer, not a pantry shelf! And if it’s in the fridge, usually folks are like: ONE WEEK ONLY! Say no to botulism and other food borne bacteria! (For food safety tips, visit the National Center for Home Food Preservation. They seem smart.)

BEHOLD WE HAVE STUFF IN A JAR THAT COULD KILL YOU IF NOT PROPERLY STORED!

Mango Jalapeño Jam Type Substance

Prep time: 20 minutes
Cook time: 10 minutes
Total time: About 30 minutes
Recipe type: Sauce/Dip
Makes: Almost two large tomato sauce jars
Ingredients (all ingredients are totally an approximation because you know I don’t measure)
  • 2 Mangoes (or whatever you have!
  • 10 Jalapeños
  • 2 tbsp Honey
  • 2 tbsp Ginger (I use the stuff from the tube ’cause it’s so handy)
  • 2 tbsp Soy Sauce
  • 1 1/2 cups Sugar
  • 1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar
  • 1/3 cup Clearjel
Instructions
  1. Dice up your Mangoes and your Jalapeños.
  2. Optional: Toss into a food processor.
  3. Combine all ingredients in a large, but not giant, pot.
  4. Boil for 10 minutes, stirring CONSTANTLY!
  5. Mash it up! (Unless you decided to use the food processor)
  6. Remove from heat, spoon into jars!
  7. LICK EVERYTHING!
  8. Refrigerate jars until cool
  9. Use for literally whatever you want. Do you like jalapeño jelly with cream cheese? DO IT! Do you like sweet and sour chicken? This might work there! How about on a pork loin? OH MY GOD I HAVE TO TRY IT ON A PORK LOIN! Maybe just with a spoon?! GO FOR IT!

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